A Double Dose of Joy


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The publishing staff at Daily Word probably doesn’t want me to publicize that they emailed the same word of inspiration to me two days in a row.

First thing yesterday, Sunday, I pulled up my account to read my daily word, just as I always do. The word was Joy. But wait a minute–Joy was also my word on Saturday.

I remember because Saturday was my birthday and I thought Joy was a great word to relish throughout the day.

Turns out the messages were a bit different and my birthday word, as seen in the publication, was actually Patient.

Ugh. Glad I didn’t know that on Saturday. I had much more fun with Joy!

A whisper from God

Do you ever have times when you know that God–GUS, for me–is giving you a not-so-subtle nudge? Yes, me too. This is one of those times.

From Saturday’s birthday passage: “My strength, my courage, my confidence comes from my relationship with the Divine. God loves me and fills me with a peace that surpasses all understanding.”

And from Sunday’s real Joy reading: “Joy allows me to approach any circumstance with a lightness of spirit and a sense of humor. I love life! When I look at situations with optimism, the world around me reveals wonder for all it offers. My bliss does not depend on outer conditions; rather happiness becomes my innate response, welling up from within.”

I turned 55 on Saturday and I can honestly say that both these passages describe me, at least 95 percent of the time. That hasn’t always been the case. There was a time when I waited for true joy to arrive, like a person who waits 40 or 50 years for retirement so s/he can really live life!

Today–right now–calls for Joy

My sweetie is fond of saying, “There’s no time like the present!” She’s really taught me how to live fully in this very moment and to look for that moment’s joy.

I’ve discovered that joy is the softest pillow on which to lay my head. It is the lodge of contentment where my heart feels deep peace.

Joy can’t be conjured up like a magic spell but it can be called. When nurtured and nourished, joy deepens into layers of cushion, like angel food cake released from a springform pan.

Joy emits smiles, laughter and spontaneous fun. To experience joy is to feel a divine touch, a whispered word: Accept.

Then another word: Receive.

And a third word: Live.

The breath of joy is the song that harmonizes my soul.  I hear the music, feel the beat and dance where I am. For I am joy. And so are you.

Photo courtesy of diannehope

Les Brown, Master Motivator, Is The One


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Not many people know that I worked for The Secret’s Bob Proctor years ago when he owned a small company in Kansas City called Life Success Institute. Yep, I wrote promotional copy for his bestselling book, You Were Born Rich.

Back then I was familiar with the work of Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, John Assaraf, Jack Canfield, Joe Vitale and Michael Bernard Beckwith. They all had one common message spoken with different words and energy. I interpreted and internalized the message this way:

If you can visualize your dream and believe with pure conviction that the dream is coming to you, there is nothing that can stop it from arriving. 

Twenty years ago, while learning from guys like Jeff Smith and Jim Bunch who would go on to lead motivational companies and coach thousands of CEOs before it was cool to be a coach, there was one name I didn’t know: Les Brown.

Eventually I learned that Mr. Brown is considered by many to be the #1 motivational speaker in the world.

And we saw him speak this past Saturday night right here in Frisco, Tex. at Elevate Life Church.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so moved, both during the time we shared soaking up his wisdom and in the days to come as I re-examine my hopes and dreams and decide how to take action toward them.

Here’s a bit of what Mr. Brown shared, none of which is really new, but I heard the words in a new way:

Design a life rather than accept the life you’ve been given.

We have to train our minds to serve us.

Someone’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality.

Leap–and grow your wings on your way down.

If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.

If you do what is easy, your life will be hard.

You will fail your way to success.

Ask for help–and don’t stop until you get it.

There’s a difference between delivering a message and being a message.

Live full. Die empty.

The future belongs to those who prepare for it.

It’s not over until you win.

There’s no way I can capture the energy with which Mr. Brown delivered his message. I can tell you he was real and sincere and captivating. I sat, spellbound, tears leaking from my eyes as he described being raised by an adopted mom after he and his twin brother were delivered in an abandoned building in Miami.

His young school years were grueling as he was tagged as a stupid kid, held back in two different grade years.

Les Brown said there is one of two words imprinted in our hearts somewhere between the ages of zero and five years. That word is either Yes or No.

His word was Yes and, as an adult, he burned with passion to speak up, to speak out, to change lives and to encourage others to do the same.

Les Brown leads with love of family and his God. His message of hope, determination and positivity resonated. He left us with this culminating thought:

You’ve got to be hungry. He will never forsake you or leave you but  . . . you must refuse to be denied.

And so it is.

Photo courtesy of BryanHanson

Stop Acting in Self-Defense


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Kahlil Gibran said, “Often times I have hated in self-defense; if I were stronger I would not have used such a weapon.”

I read this quote in Peace on the Inside. The author, Karen Jandorf, offered this as practice:

“The manifestation of hate typically has force, energy and power. But if you think about it, hate generally derives from a sense of powerlessness.

“Perhaps the world would be a more loving place if, when a sense of powerlessness arises, we made ourselves the object of our compassion rather than making others the object of our hate.”

Wow–this really gets to the heart of so many of my reactions to people and situations involving people. In my 12-step world I know this phenomenon of the mind as “when I am disturbed,” it’s always about me–100% of the time.

“I have hated in self-defense.” 

We can bring hatred down several notches so it becomes proving my point, justifying why I’m right and stating my case. It’s still self-defense, isn’t it?

Most negative emotions are about self-defense and are usually about me not getting what I think I need, want or deserve.

“Made ourselves the object of our compassion rather than making others the object of our hate.”

I can stop trying to prove myself. There is no need if I treat myself as I generally treat others and hope that others treat me. Instead of proving myself, I can work on loving myself, nurturing myself and paying attention to my own needs instead of waiting for someone else to tend to them.

There is no need to prove myself if I believe in me, if I believe I am a beautiful being and if I know in my heart than my GUS is completely thrilled with me.

Compassion toward one’s self–which requires a good amount of inner “me” time–is missing in today’s instant-on culture. Mostly we’re busy doing instead of being. The state of “doingness” without a balance of beingness is a set-up for potential hateful situations.

And . . .

If I am good with me–loving, accepting, tolerant, forgiving–then powerlessness has no place in my life. I’m in a much better position to allow life to flow and to ride with the flow instead of struggling against it.

One thing, in case anyone is keeping score, I am aware that I’m powerless over most everything in my life, including alcohol and drugs. That’s a different storyline from this one–maybe next week’s blog post?

Perhaps. In the meantime, please enjoy your week and do take some time to just be.

Photo courtesy of scotsann

Easter Monday Reflections


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Let me say from the git-go that I’ve never considered myself a religious person, except perhaps in college during a deeply philosophical conversation and far too much liquor. If I ever acted religious, it was for show.

Not being religious gave me a heady, intellectual persona, or so I thought (Alcohol was probably talking again.). With recovery, not only did the alcohol go away, so did the idea that I had to find a religious type.

Instead, I took up with spirituality. People in recovery told me I could live with a higher power–a God of my understanding–and I was good with that.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my Fat Tuesday impulsive decision to write daily essays during Lent based on prompts from Rev. Phil Ressler’s book, 40 Things to Give Up for Lent and Beyond: A 40 Day Devotion Series for the Season of Lent. I set the intention of getting more God in my life.

You see, I was kind of coasting during the early part of this year. Feeling kind of blah for no real reason. You know the story–everything is fine but nothing is really good. I needed a shake-up and now that I’m on the backside of 40 days of publishing 350-500 words each day, I’m feeling pretty darn good.

I wish I could fully express what writing those 40 essays did for me. (To read the series, go to my Facebook Notes page.) It feels like a pretty cool accomplishment and I’m grateful for the reader interaction.

The best part about the practice of letting go of 40 different things–and writing about it–was my heart opened as it hasn’t in a long, long time.

My open heart led me to say yes when my sweetie asked if I wanted to go to a church service on Saturday night. A friend and colleague of hers asked if we would be her guest at the Saturday evening Easter service at Elevate Life Church here in Frisco, Tx.

This is my Year of Yes, so I had to go. My mind was open but I was not prepared for the swell of emotions that washed over me during the evening. From the time we stepped out of the car in the cathedral’s parking lot to the time we stepped out of the ladies room following the service, we felt a genuine welcome and warmth from the multitude of volunteers.

The production of the Easter story was moving and masterful. My eyes leaked torrents of tears from start to finish.

I was surprisingly absorbed by the musical uplift and by Pastor Keith Craft’s message about seeing the proof and feeling the promise of the Resurrection. He said a resurrection plays out for each of us as we feel renewed or restored to our Christ-like selves (not his words, but the words that work for me).

I was carried away from the experience on a blanket of love. I felt (and feel) unstoppable–that word is Pastor Craft’s. I know the power of Christ is deep within me, that Jesus is a part of me. I guess that makes me religious after all.

Who knows what happens next. I don’t much care. I gave up a lot of things during Lent but gained so much more. On this Easter Monday, I am an Easter-sated gal ready to take on the world!

Photo courtesy of lauramusikanski

A Fat Tuesday Impulsive Decision


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Fat Tuesday, the day when folks let the good times roll before some sort of abstinence begins on Ash Wednesday and (hopefully) sustains itself through Easter, was kind of weird.

I’m not a regular churchgoer so I seldom tie anything of real significance to Lent. This year, however, I felt the need to shore up my relationship with God a bit. Why not give God a good 40-day commitment?

I jumped online and found a great book called 40 Things to Give Up for Lent and Beyond, by Reverend Phil Ressler.

Each day, Rev. Ressler writes about giving something up, like negativity, apathy or complaining. He ties in scripture and suggested actions.

I decided to write daily essays based on Rev. Ressler’s topics. They’ve been fun to explore and write and most importantly, my God-shoring is going well! Here’s a portion of one of the essays:

Giving Up Impatience

Sometimes I wish a magician would snap her fingers in front of me and make all the challenges to my character (aka, character defects) disappear. Sigh . . .
I suppose I’ll always pine for the easier, softer way. GUS (God-Universe-Spirit) chuckles every time I pine because there IS an easier, softer way—just not the one I imagine.
It’s called surrender.
Years ago, when I still lived in Missouri, I had a vanity license plate on my car (pictured above). SURNDR. The first time my brother saw the plate, he stood staring at it for the longest time. Grinning, he finally turned to me and said, “I know what it means.”
What? I asked, happy that he figured it out.
“So You Are In Drive,” he said, proud of himself. (You’d have to know my brother to appreciate his sense of humor.)
Isn’t it ironic that surrender for me, a woman in long-term recovery from addiction, and for all the other recovering people I know, is the opposite of “so you are in drive?”
Being perpetually “in drive,” leads to impatience. Just for today, maybe I should consider being in idle.
So how exactly do we let go of impatience on this fourth day of Lent?
Phil Ressler writes in his 40 Things to Give Up for Lent and Beyond-the book this writing series studies-that “patience is about love.”
He suggests giving up impatience with God, with yourself and with others. I think being patient with myself is probably the most difficult of the three.
I’ve whined in 12-step meetings over the years that I want what I want when I want it. Each time I say the words, every head in the room nods back at me.
We are an instant fix, instant problem-solved, instant get-from-here-to-there kind of people.
What about enjoying the journey? It’s impossible to focus on being when you’re rushing, pushing and pressing forward.
Breathe. Just breathe.

You can find more essays like this on my Facebook page under Facebook Notes. Please enjoy and share!