Archive for November, 2011

Homeless Lunch Serves Up Big Dose of Gratitude

We had a humbling after-Thanksgiving Day experience.  Our simple intention was to serve lunch to the homeless and we ended up being the ones served.

We dished up lunch to 200+ sheltered homeless and the staff of Dallas Life, a ministry that provides food, clothing, shelter, education and long-term rehabilitation for men, women and families.

Admittedly, I had a couple of preconceived fears.  The mere word “homeless” brought a mental picture of ragged clothes, body odors and stringy, unwashed hair.

I’m not proud of my judgmental thoughts, but usually when I’m willing to become educated, those thoughts flow fairly easily into a dead pool where they stagnate and eventually dissolve.

It didn’t take long this time because my mental picture of the homeless was immediately blown away.  

We encountered polite, well-groomed folks who greeted us pleasantly and more often than not, said thank you to us for being there.  Some even asked how we were.

Can you imagine?  

As in any society, the folks living and working at Dallas Life bring a diversity of life experiences.  My sweetie and I spent time talking with one  young woman “in the program”–a multi-phased modality designed to get folks back on their feet.  Angela (not her real name) educated us on the various phases and about her plans.  She was adamant about completion and determined to fulfill her goal of eventually working in a hotel environment where she could be of service.

Angela described her gratitude for the organization and for not being one of the residents with a drug or alcohol addiction.

Her next words rocked us:  ”I am just unemployed and homeless.”

My sweetie and I exchanged an incredulous look.  Just unemployed and homeless?

So exactly what are my problems today?

Zero.  I’ve got no complaints.  Instead, I’m honoring hope, optimism and a belief in the endurance of the human spirit.

Will you join me as you absorb these five quotes?  I’ve chosen them with Angela in mind and hope you enjoy.

B Well & Aware of Blessings,

Beth

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. ~Christopher Reeve

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. ~Anne Lamott

Optimism is the foundation of courage. ~Nicholas Murray Butler

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit

Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was. ~ Richard L. Evans 

Be Grateful for the Living

How do the geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.  –Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Grief has been an active part of my life for quite some time, beginning more than two years ago when I moved, rather abruptly, from my home state. Since, I’ve cried the loss of animals, through my mother’s death, the passing of a very dear man and the sale of my childhood home.

Recently, I spent some time at the home of my adopted big sister, who’s husband died a month ago.  At one point, I wandered outside to sit and write for awhile.  Here are the thoughts I scribbled:

I feel so heavy with the weight of the grief here.  How can I help?  How can I be of service?

I close my eyes and breathe deeply of the noontime air.  In that 10-second pause, my answer arrives, “Be grateful for the living.”

Grieve the loss of the joyful person but do not grieve for love thought lost.

Love merely shifts its energy; it never disappears.  Love gives of itself differently when the person is no longer near.  In order to feel the love, we must push past our fog of sadness and show a willingness to receive love differently.

Ask God to understand and He surely will.  But don’t rush past the asking.  Wait, wait for the clues.

Hear the love whistling through the pine trees?  The pines live on with Cliff’s love because they’ve absorbed a part of his energy.

The chirping of the flitting hummingbirds?

The methodic rap of hammer against nail? 

The ignition firing through a truck or car?

The slap of water against a shoreline?

The fragrance of a rose in full bloom?

All these things and more contain the love of our dear ones.  We go on, stumbling and crumbling through our days while, please God, we pause long enough to look right or left and feel what we need to feel.

The hurt may untighten just a smudge–or not–but the love remains regardless.

Stockpile love, add to love with your own deeds, and smile when you can.

This, I believe, is the slow-moving antidote for grief.

On this Thanksgiving Day, as we count our blessings, let us be ever so grateful for the love of both the living and those who love from afar.

A Thankful Mindful Monday

Ah, the Monday of Thanksgiving Week.  Let the holidays begin!

The question on my mind today is this:  Where will you put your energy and attention this week?

Will you:  A) Rush from your home into your crazed work life attempting to stuff five days of work into two and a half? B) Drool on your computer as you plot your Black Friday strategy?  C)  Obsess over what you’ll wear to your Thursday gathering so no one will notice your after-dinner done-lapped-over-your-waistband look?

Or, will you:  A) Spend frequent moments of meditative gratitude?  B) Do something, or several things, that gives back for your own bounty?  C)  Prepare your heart–one delightful moment at a time–for the “reason for the season?”

If we’re honest, most of us will probably engage in a little of both groups of questions.  We’re human, after all.  I think we can agree, however, as we move through this hearty eating and abundant family time, that it’s crucial to remember to go easy, to breathe deeply and to give ourselves–and each other a break.  We’re all doing the very best we can.

In that vein, go forth into the wacky week with love and genuine thanksgiving for all that you’ve been given, and for all that you give.  May these five thoughts help you along your way.

B Well & Present,

Beth

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.  ~Meister Eckhart

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Remember God’s bounty in the year.  String the pearls of His favor.  Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light!  Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude!  ~Henry Ward Beecher

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.  ~Melody Beattie

Mindful Monday, Mostly

Tonight I feel like heaving a big sigh, folding my arms across my chest, and saying, “I don’t want to and you can’t make me!”

Must be Sunday night.

I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to start this work week.  Let me stuff my head under the pillow and wail.

I’ve had a hard time with Sunday nights ever since I was a little girl.  Back then, I think it was the transition from unstructured play over the weekend to the strict school day schedule.

As an adult I don’t always have quite the same transition challenge; in fact, I often look forward to the start of a fresh, new week with all its inherent possibilities.

But not tonight.  Tonight concludes a gruelingly emotional two days out of town and I’m whipped.  Tomorrow, I have to put all that away and be a focused professional.  Late tomorrow afternoon, I’ll board an airplane for another 48 hours away from home, this time for work.

I know I’m not the only one who pushes herself through workdays.  I‘ve done it many times before, but this time it seems like a huge mountain to climb.  To have any kind of motivation, I think I’m going to need rather large helpings of inspiration.  The following quotes are a start and I’m desperate for others if you have them to share.

Along with the quotes I’m saying a prayer this week for all those souls out there who struggle mightily for peace and serenity in the midst of turmoil.  Somehow we find the strength to “walk on, with hope in our hearts,” as the old song goes, but damn, it sure is hard sometimes.

Go easy this week and do your best to B Well & Present (I’ll do my best too),

Beth

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.
– Henry Ward Beecher

Faith means living with uncertainty – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.
– Dan Millman

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.
– Mary Manin Morrissey

Faith is putting all your eggs in God’s basket, then counting your blessings before they hatch. – Ramona C. Carroll

It’s a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand.–Madeleine L’Engle

How to Create a Peaceful, Perfect Day (no matter what the calendar says)

Earlier today, when I wrote today’s date, I noticed that we are one day short of this year’s perfect date.  Last year it was 10/10/10; next year it will be 12/12/12 and tomorrow it will be 11/11/11.

Since January 1, 2001, we have experienced one perfect date each year.

After next month, we won’t experience the next cycle of perfectly numbered dates until the next 01/01/01 (January 1, 2101).  Hey, throw a party in this generation’s honor, will you?  Who knows where my energy will manifest at that point?

Let’s not wait for perfect days. 

Instead, let’s make a decision that the concept of perfection is relative and the concept of peace is preferred.

For me, a perfect day is a peace-filled day.  But more often than not, I must make a decision to choose a peaceful day.

I confess that I am a work in progress when it comes to choosing different thoughts from self-destructive ones, but after a great talk with my friend Megan last night, I know that I am at least teachable and willing to learn.

Megan lives and breathes this peace and choosing your thoughts stuff.  I’ve witnessed her bring peace to a volatile situation so I know she’s credible.  She truly believes that there is no life storm–none–that can shatter our peace unless we allow it.

Allowing chaos into our space is a decision.

Megan doesn’t discount the crazy, unpredictable happenings of life.  She sees real situations of chaos–and chooses “not to do the backstroke in the muck,” as she puts it.

She choses peace instead because, as she says, her God is bigger than any and all of the trauma/dramas in life.

Megan and I talked about why we don’t choose peace.  Her theory is that 90% of our decisions are based on habit.  These decisions radiate from us in the form of reactions to people, places and things.  (Now we’re getting sneaking close to the old definition of insanity–doing the same things over and over again expecting different results.)

Here’s a concrete example: Patsy

You get an email from a co-worker named Patsy explaining why once again she is late on a project.  Seems she spilled scalding coffee in her lap because she backed her car into a tree as she was rushing to attend her great aunt Myrtle’s memorial service.

Patsy’s email goes on to describe how she absolutely ruined her $200 wool skirt.  And how her car was not drivable so she had to call a cab and when she finally arrived at the memorial, her mother gave her that look and . . .

You, the person in receipt of Patsy’s email immediately bristle and begin to fire off a response because you are tired of her excuses, blah, blah, blah.  For the entire time you’ve worked with her, Patsy has missed deadlines.

And for the entire time you’ve known her, you have reacted the same way, (a) out of habit, and (b) because you chose to “swan dive off the high board into her b.s.” (another Megan-ism).

You can choose peace instead, my friend tells me.

Before I even open the email, I can close to not react as I always have (because I already know the general tone of the note).  When I read the email, I can acknowledge that Patsy has done it again–that fact is real–and go on about my business.  But before I go, I can say a prayer that Patsy finds her own peace that passeth all understanding.

God knows I don’t always understand why this stuff works, but I do recognize peace when I feel it.  So why wouldn’t I choose to break old habits of decision-making and choose peace instead?

Let’s agree to choose peace–just for now–and then pay attention to how our lives change.  Describe the changes in a reply, will you?