Love

Surrendering to Election 2016: Let’s Move On!

img_6371

Election 2016 is nearly in the books. Nervous anticipation hangs everywhere; the words, “I’ll be so glad when it’s over,” are exchanged again and again in coffee shops, at train stops and every other locale where two or more are gathered.

Throw in a stewed  mess of negative campaigning (what an understatement!) that stirs people into an emotional frenzy and I’m beginning to believe that our next president will need a divine intervention to repair the damage done to the collective American psyche.

My Australian friend Patricia says watching the American presidential campaign is like watching the best reality TV ever!

Too, too much!

I find the entire spectacle childish and sad. There’s a downside to living in a time when our culture is seemingly controlled by social media. Don’t get me wrong, I love the connectivity and potential for good that social media affords us, not to mention that I make my living working with social media platforms.

But for months, every sound bite and pictorial moment among the political candidates has become embedded in the global Twitter feed and therefore deemed newsworthy. My journalist’s heart weeps.

In Texas, we can choose to cast an early ballot so last Wednesday I approached the polling booth, not with excitement as I usually do, but with trepidation. I did not want to vote for either candidate. I felt a surge of resentment just as the polling judge announced, “We have a first-time voter!”

The young woman looked so eager and fresh-faced as she waved to the room.

“Bless her heart,” I thought to myself. What an awful, worn out election to be casting her first presidential vote.

Then I found myself wondering who is blessing the nation’s heart.

A Sunday surrender

At church yesterday, I got the reminder I needed of who is blessing us all. As dark as our nation’s time seems right now, God–insert your name for the Divine–always offers light. The beauty of humanhood is we get to choose to walk in the light and to send the shadows away beyond our hula hoop.

With light comes hope and who among us doesn’t want to carry that torch? I was also reminded during Sunday service at Cathedral of Hope, United Church of Christ, that choosing to bear the light of hope is carrying the mission of countless other masters of hope and peace who came before us. Certainly Jesus, but also the Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King, Jr. were saints in that they lived and walked in light and love.

We would do well to emulate them. And we do.

You are an everyday saint when you speak words of hope to another and each time you encourage inclusivity instead of division. You are an everyday saint each time to listen thoughtfully without judgment or derision. You are an everyday saint when you see the world with eyes of compassion and when you touch someone else with your peace.

The votes that we cast in this presidential election are crucial–I’m praying for a future filled with optimism and goodwill among those who win their chosen offices.

But we have a higher calling. May you be blessed with an abundance of hope, love and peace this week, and in your blessing, pay it forward.

Photo courtesy of Morguefile:maryhere

Celebrate Recovery Month 2016

niagara

A friend of mine sent me a text yesterday saying she relapsed with addiction. She asked me to take her to a 12-step meeting–we’re going tonight so she can establish a new sobriety date.

I’m proud of her for reaching out. But why wouldn’t she? If she suffered with food allergies and ate chocolate cake even though chocolate and gluten cause an allergic reaction, would she tell me?

With every other health condition, when we “relapse,” we get the help we need, whether it’s medical, behavioral, spiritual. There is no shame, no blame, no judgment.

Addiction is different.

I’ve often said that if I relapse I don’t know if I could face my recovery support system–my friends, my sponsor, my meetings. Man, talk about internalized shame.

But if I practice what I preach–that shame and stigma should be eliminated from every facet of prevention, intervention, treatment and recovery from addiction–then I would hold my head high and say, yes, I did relapse into my disease. The chemicals in my brain rearranged my thinking and caused me to take an action I knew would be harmful.

If I practice what I preach, I would say, although I relapses, I’m here now. I’m grateful that I have X amount of time in recovery, in spite of this relapse. Yes, I have a new sober date but I’m ready to move on.

That’s likely what I’ll say to my friend tonight.

Every day is a miracle day, a day to celebrate recovery from addiction.

If you’re nice to people, do good things for others (including animals–definitely animals!), apologize when you’ve been an ass, treat yourself decently and remember to thank the God of your understanding for your recovery, then addiction stays in the back seat.

Recovery isn’t rocket science; it’s actually fairly simple. But my magnificent, magnifying mind can eff it up in a heartbeat.

When I start thinking about my needs, my plans, my desires, I’m screwed. Maybe not today. Maybe not even next week. I might be able to get away with grisly behavior for a few days, but not much more than that.

Did I run my needs, plans and desires by God? Did I pause when I was agitated or did I say the first asinine thing that came into my head? Who exactly has been in the front seat driving my MINI?

Lucky for me those errors in judgment that make me and those around me crazy have not sent me back to alcohol or other substances. I don’t know why I’ve been spared that hell on earth while others around me die every single damn day from addiction.

It could be me tomorrow. Or my beautiful love. Or my father. Or my friend.

But today, please God, let us be sober. Let us feel your power and your love, feel it surging through us like water surging at Niagara.

Then, let us turn to our brothers and sisters who struggle, to their families, and figure out a way to help them find peace. Show us how to reach out, how to open our hearts and our minds to help another who suffers.

Let us do what you would do if you were here. Let us love unconditionally as if our lives depended on it, because, in fact, they do.

Happy Recovery Month.

16 Quotes From Saint Teresa

FullSizeRender-5

Mother Teresa, known as the “saint of the gutters,” died nineteen years ago today. Yesterday, Pope Francis declared “blessed Teresa of Calcutta to be a saint” during a canonization Mass in Vatican City.

Two words come to my mind when I think of Mother Teresa: Love and service.

She tended to others as I imagine Jesus did, with humility, grace and joy. She ministered in places and situations that few others would go.

Pope Francis said of her work,”mercy was the salt which gave flavor to her work, it was the light which shone in the darkness of the many who no longer had tears to shed for their poverty and suffering.”

Many have captured her words over the years. Today, I wish to honor the woman, the newest saint, with a few of the messages she shared about love and service.

A life not lived for others is not a life.

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.

I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, ‘How many good things have you done in your life?’ rather he will ask, ‘How much love did you put into what you did?

It is not the magnitude of our actions, but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.

Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

In loving one another through our works we bring an increase of grace and a growth in divine love.

Why can’t there be love that never gets tired?

If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.

There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives – the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.

The greatest science in the world, in heaven and on earth, is love.

I must be willing to give whatever it takes to do good to others. This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise, there is no true love in me, and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.

At the hour of death when we come face-to-face with God, we are going to be judged on love; not how much we have done, but how much love we put into the doing.

Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God – the rest will be given.

If we pray, we will believe; If we believe, we will love; If we love, we will serve.

I’m just a little pencil in the hand of a writing God sending a love letter to the world.


Look Out For #1 But Be Kind to Others

ea5b42d9cc26232272db4439c15860eb

Back in the ’70s I was enamored with a book called Looking Out For #1 by Robert Ringer. The basic premise of the book, one of the New York Time’s 15 bestselling motivational books of all time, is you have to take care of yourself before you can be useful to anyone else.

In other words, put your oxygen mask on first!

You have to admit the title is a little off-putting, though, egotistical even, especially during this time of continual Donald Trump yammering.

If we believe that happiness comes from being our best, then maybe the idea of looking out for ourselves is a good one. Think about it: Is there anyone else qualified for the job?

Humble and kind

Two words swirl around me–humility and kindness. Be humble. Be kind.

These two words are a firm foundation to build our best self as we look out for number one. (Can you see the beginnings of the plan to be better so you can do better?)

Tim McGraw has a hit song that seems to be everywhere I turn. His lyrics are simple but the message is powerful.

An recent essay in a recent Sunday edition of the Dallas Morning News describes a fourth grade teacher’s idea to remove all her classroom rules but one: Be kind.

The essay’s author writes about one woman’s decision to be kind to herself. “It’s a decision we make every day. We are in total control of decisions, our choices, our lives. I choose to love and I choose to be kind.”

If kindness is the goal, I believe we’re naturally humble, even when we’re taking care of ourselves.

Three more words

My friend Amy, a former Sunday school teacher and Jesus freak (My description and it’s a compliment), says Jesus’ messages can be summed up in three words–surrender, acceptance and love.

Add humble and kind and you have a winning full house hand, not to mention a recipe for a contented life.

I like knowing that a lifestyle with these five words in my heart and on my mind is always available to me. My simple-but-not-easy task is simply to put my oxygen mask on first and breathe them in.

When I keep my focus on me–looking out for #1–I am less likely to judge you, gossip about you or make fun of you.

Buddha said, “What we think, we become.”

If you want to look out for #1 today, let your thoughts focus on five words that will transform not only your thinking, but your place among women and men.

Humble. Kind. Surrender. Acceptance. Love.

Be AND do all these.

Photo courtesy of 5demayo

So, How Are You?

ea33dd21b3aab049db191667c1d830b3

You’re asked the question many times a day. It may be, “What’s up? What’s going on?” or  “What’s happening?” but the words behind the question are really How are you?

Most of us give a rote answer, like fine, great or I’m okay. Have you ever really thought about the story behind your answer?

There are different stories

There are stories we tell ourselves (and others) and then there are the stories that we let define us. Seldom are the two versions the same. Here’s what I mean:

You have a magnificent day where everything sparkles. Things can’t get much better, you think.

Then the day ends and, as if in a broken magical spell, you return to reality. It’s back to the grind, you think.

Someone asks how you are. You say fine or okay when you’re obviously not as you launch into the details of blah, blah, blah. If you’re fine or okay, why do you act the opposite?

Seeing beyond the question

The How are you? question has nothing to do with what is outside us, the majority of which is out of our control anyway. We–you–need to stop responding to the question from the perspective of what is happening in your life when the person asking the question wants to know how you are being.

When someone asks me how I am, what if I begin my response by repeating the last two words–I am. When someone asks how you are, don’t you begin with I am _______________.

I am well. I am blessed. I am beautiful. I am energized.

Then, don’t say anything more because you’ve answered the question! And that’s the story you need to believe–not the story about how your Uncle Roy decided to leave Aunt Matilda and as a result your cousin came to town, moved in with you and now your boss won’t give you a raise to help support your cousin. Whew!

One more step, call it extra credit: believe your answer because it’s truth. How are you and what’s going on in your life are not the same story. The first is an autobiography and the second is a narrative of events.

Both questions are important but the first gets to the heart of who you are and isn’t that much more important than Uncle Roy, Aunt Matilda and their deadbeat kid?

Photo courtesy of kakisky