I heard a recovery speaker years ago talk about the horrors of his life before sobriety and how he often uttered “foxhole” prayers.
You know, the kind that go something like, “Dear God, if you will get me out of this jam, I promise I will ___________” (fill in the blank).
Those kind of prayers seldom work, at least for very long.
Apparently the recovery speaker realized their ineffectiveness so he developed what he called the world’s shortest prayer of surrender, applicable for any situation. It goes like this:
“Okay, God, whatever.”
I’ll be honest. I’m in a really rough patch in my life. There is a lot of upheaval, a lot of stress, a lot of unknown. Sometimes it feels as if all of my time awake time is spent praying.
The Serenity Prayer, the 3rd step prayer (those in recovery will know what I mean and I’m happy to share it off-line for those who don’t) and the Prayer for Protection have been lifelines for my flailing self.
In addition, I’ve been reading and re-reading these pieces.
A problem is a call for us to open up our consciousness and view a situation from a different perspective. If we stubbornly cling to a position, we may miss the very awareness we need in order to master the situation at hand. No one knows it all. Be innocent enough to consider that the universe may be bigger that what you “know” to be true. You may gain more by being wrong than by tenaciously clinging to being right. ~ Alan Cohen in A Deep Breath of Life.
True joy is deeper than any sorrow, stronger than any disappointment. I trust this power within to help me overcome sorrow, anger or grief, to remind me that life is good. Each day I awaken to an awareness of God. I awaken to joy. ~ The Daily Word, March 31, 2012
Put God first, rigorously and without exception, and everything–everything–we need in our lives will be given to us. Put God first. Make expressing the kingdom of God the first priority in every situation. ~ The Rev.Ed Townley in Spirit Expressing.
Feel the pain. Don’t try to hide it, avoid it, fight it, or run from it–sit with it instead. It may feel overwhelming, but know that every feeling eventually transforms, and it will happen faster if you stop resisting. Sink deep into it and get clear about exactly why it hurts. What is it that you want to change? ~ Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha, Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions
And my favorite, which needs no credit: But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.
Simply adding these thoughtful words causes the knot in my belly to loosen a little. It is my hope and prayer that your week goes well and that if a time comes that
you feel at a loss for praying words, you’ll remember:
“Okay, God, whatever.”
B Well & Prayerful!
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Happy Mindful Monday!
It was a breakthrough weekend for me after attending a fabulous seminar on Saturday. I’ll reveal more about the seminar giver and the message very, very soon; he was so fun and enlightening that I want to save the juiciest parts for the B Here Today relaunch. So, hold your horses!
I can tell you that for me, Saturday was all about choosing love over fear.
I don’t know about you, but my fears spend a great deal of time trying to sabotage the good in my life. Fears throttle themselves into high gear and try to drive a wedge between me and the people I care about the most.
On Saturday, prior to leaving for the seminar, I spent some quiet time meditating on being open to receive the messages I was about to hear. One of the things that came to me was the simple notion that love is bigger than fear.
I’ve shared with you that love is my highest, all-encompassing prayer. I will love through all the dramas and traumas, until the people or persons can love themselves and appreciate themselves as I do.
The trick lies in holding onto the feeling of love.
I decided I needed a code of conduct to help me stay in the love ballpark (can you tell its nearly baseball season?). Instead of sharing five inspirational quotes with you as has been our custom for more than a year, I’ve decided to share the five points of my code of conduct.
See if any of these ring true for you. As you contemplate them, please make a note and send it to me here; I’d love to hear how you transcend fear with love.
1. I will love AND leave the room if rancorous conversation begins.
2. I will love AND not participate in negatively charged comments about each other or other people.
3. I will love AND choose silence over defending myself to win an argument or make a point.
4. I will love AND breathe deeply even when the air is highly charged with tension.
5. I will love AND remember that I am responsible for meeting my needs, not taking care of someone else’s.
Love is a giant balance beam. When we allow, love can lift us so that we are held in suspended balance between the muck of fear-based hell and the ecstasy of wild emotions.
At any point on the beam, we can mis-step and start falling one way or another. But if we hold to love–with smiling tenderness–AND we hold each other loosely, we will be okay.
First, there’s love–the highest prayer. I feel that fact firmly this morning.
God, please let us know the full measure of your love today. Teach us to feel love’s weight and breadth and depth. Teach us to let love, not fear, overtake our hearts, minds and emotions.
Show us how to balance on that beam in the joy, glory and splendor of your love.
B Well & B Love,
Beth
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I am constantly gifted with choices.
I’m not talking about external choices like deciding between two movies or between different restaurants or even what clothes to wear today.
I’m referring to my conscious choices as they relate to my thoughts.
How often do I allow my mind to tumble and fumble along the path of today? How often are my thoughts like a person scared to get on the long and curvy slide at the water park? Like the ride, when I’ve made a choice to be afraid of anything, I am tense and my body slams against each twist and turn of the journey.
However, when I choose to relax and enjoy the thrill of the ride, my body no longer resists the water’s flow and I glide through all the curves.
Choosing my thoughts is a similar process.
When I become aware of how my thoughts create a smooth flow of circumstances or a wild, frantic ride, I am better equipped to change them.
Case in point: Conversations that involve politics or the federal government. Yesterday, I realized that there are times when my sweetie and I should steer clear of these topics. Our basic viewpoints are too different and more often than not, one of us comes away from the conversation with our hackles raised.
So, I’m making a conscious choice to limit these topics of conversation. They aren’t productive, they usually are not positive and they invoke a winner/loser outcome. Plus, I don’t know enough to soundly present my case so I grow frustrated and irritated with myself.
So I choose to step away from those conversations, or at least not initiate them.
They nearly never garner peace, love or joy which are my three conscious attributes for living these days.
When I have peace, love and joy in my life, politics and the federal government lose their appeal.
I can choose to listen to the subjects without responding.
I can choose to not get whipped into a frenzy around divisive issues.
They just don’t matter to me. Peace, love and joy matter.
Today, I choose the latter matter.
For this Mindful Monday, please enjoy these five quotes about choosing your thoughts.
B Well & Choose Your Thoughts Well!
Beth
By choosing your thoughts, and by selecting which emotional currents you will release and which you will reinforce, you determine the quality of your Light. You determine the effects that you will have upon others, and the nature of the experiences of your life. ~ Gary Zukav
Thoughts are boomerangs, returning with precision to their source. Choose wisely which ones you throw. ~ Author Unknown
Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive, because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny. ~ Gandhi
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln
Life consists of what a man is thinking of all day. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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There is so much noise in our worlds; much of which we cannot control.
Most of us are deluged daily with over-stimulation. I got a humongous dose while in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. Talk about the capital of too much sensory perception!
Within the last week, sans Vegas, I’ve realized that I am immersed in noise simply by being alive. This Mindful Monday message is one of good news: You can create your own silent haven in a multitude of ways. I’d like to mention to, one obvious, one non-traditional.
When I speak of sitting in silence, yes, I encourage meditation. I don’t know how it is for you, but quieting my noisy mind is a fearsome chore sometimes (okay, most times), but I am making progress.
The other way that I’m learning to sit in silence is a bit more radical. See what you think.
In the midst of our noisy work-school-exercise-neighborhood meeting-social obligation-the-beat-goes-on week, let’s focus on setting a conscious intention to step away from constant communication and create meaningful silence.
Now, before you start thinking that I’m suggesting you ignore your boss or your sweetie, let me explain.
I had the opportunity this week to participate in a semi-voluntary silent retreat from communicating with a loved one. We went from multiple daily conversations, texts and emails to complete silence for several days. Then, we gradually began a handful of texts. We have only spoken three times.
We both discovered a sacredness in the silence between us, as if it were a safe and comfortable respite from the craziness of our daily lives. It felt good to step away for a bit and to focus on the things that bring me peace . . . space freed up by silence provided the ability to get in touch with my wants and needs.
Have you considered the gift of silence and how you can benefit from it? Please ponder silence this week, practice it, and let me know how the experience is for you.
B Well & Silent (if you choose!),
Beth
True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment. ~William Penn
Silence is the true friend that never betrays. ~Confucius
Silence is the universal refuge, the sequel to all dull discourses and all foolish acts, a balm to our every chagrin, as welcome after satiety as after disappointment. ~Henry David Thoreau
Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation. ~James Thurber
Everybody should have his personal sounds to listen for – sounds that will make him exhilarated and alive or quite and calm…. One of the greatest sounds of them all – and to me it is a sound – is utter, complete silence. ~Andre Kostelanetz
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I’m reading Pema Chodron’s book When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times.
Sometimes things do fall apart. Best-laid plans and all that stuff.
It’s easy to mouth the words, “everything happens for a reason,” but much harder to accept the truth behind the words.
The truth is that sometimes things must fall apart in order for the pieces to reconnect. Something needs to break down because it’s not working right.
Is the answer to simply throw the thing away? I don’t believe so. Might we try first to investigate why it broke down?
Or maybe the why isn’t important. Maybe we just accept that it isn’t working the way it is and then choose to see if it will work differently.
When something falls apart for me, it generally involves a relationship of some kind. The “thing” is a product of a relationship with myself, with a situation (like at work) or with another person.
Sometimes the thing that is broken can’t be fixed. Try as we might, the trying turns into a form of insanity as we continue to do the same things over and over expecting different results.
I feel crazy, truly crazy sometimes and all I want is to claim peace in my life. I’m learning that affirming peace is code for asking for love because love is the return to sanity.
Here’s a question I’m asking myself today: In the midst of things falling apart, can I respond with love? Can I be love in every situation and circumstance?
More questions: What does love look like in my life? Self-love and love of others? Love of God?
When things fall apart, I want to run and hide. I want to do anything except be with the pain as it crumbles.
Are you like me? Do you tend to stay stuck in the pain or have you figured out how to traverse its rocky rapids?
Just for today, I’ve decided that I no longer want to stay stuck so I’m jumping into the pain. I’m going to see what lessons are lurking in the rapids’ depths.
It will be necessary to slow down–to be mindful–so as not to miss the lessons.
Of utmost importance: the lessons are for me and not anyone else. Where am I erring? This exercise isn’t about beating up on myself but about learning how I contribute to things falling apart.
Even with a cracked heart, love lets me believe that I can do better. I can be better. I am better because I am love.
You are your own greatest love. I pray you believe those words today. If you don’t believe me, focus on these lines from Pema’s book:
Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.
When things fall apart and we’re on the verge of we know not what, the test of each of us is to stay on that brink and not concretize.
We can meet our match with a poodle or with a raging guard dog, but the interesting question is–what happens next?
We are not striving to make pain go away or to become a better person. In fact, we are giving up control altogether and letting concepts and ideals fall apart.
It’s a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately filling up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as well as fundamental spaciousness.
B Love,
Beth
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In July of 2009, I had an epiphany. For about a month prior, I was emotionally distraught, increasingly depressed and having serious thoughts of drinking again (after 18 years of sobriety).
I struggled to wrap my arms around what could possibly be wrong with me. I had all the trappings of a good life, one others would love to emulate--great job, dream house, traveling for a living, a life mate . . . the list goes on. 
