Years ago, somewhere in the rooms of recovery, I heard the question, “Are you filled with what you want to spill if you tip over?”
(If anyone knows the origin of this ditty, please share!)
The question came to mind yesterday as I pondered my finances. It’s the holiday season (which I love!) so there’s extra money going out. In addition to family gifting, I always get a charge out of anonymous and charitable giving and in doing the unexpected.
It was right about then that my mind had a bit of a seizure. Holy smokes! How can I possibly do it all? Clients are shifting, pulling back, others on the horizon but probably won’t make a decision until the new year . . . OMG!
What’s up with the limiting beliefs?
Instead of hyperventilating, I paused (as in, when agitated, we paused). Telling myself there might not be enough money is nothing more than a story. Since I love a good story, why not make it a story of abundance rather than one of lack?
Julia Cameron became my rock star hero in 1992 when she published The Artist’s Way. I learned to write morning pages and to do good things for myself on a weekly basis.
Twenty years later, she wrote another game-changer called The Prosperous Heart, Creating a Life of Enough. I swear I will kiss her ring if we ever meet.
This book is really a 12-week course in learning about abundance. It’s meant to change my attitudes and beliefs around money and when I bought it a month ago, I couldn’t wait to jump in.
The first week in my new journal dedicated to The Prosperous Heart exercises is dated November 23. Nothing since.
The point here is there is something comfortable about misery. My old friend John used to say we sit in our own s**t because it’s warm.
Dumping out those thoughts of lack
Say I’m walking the dogs, stub my toe and take a header onto the sidewalk. What will spill out of me? You guessed it. “Not enough. Won’t be enough. It’s always going to be like this. Why can’t I catch a break?”
Well, that’s not good. And certainly not something I’m proud of, human though it may be.
Okay, so what’s the next step?
I have to dump the ideas of not enough. Then I have to really, really wrap my arms around faith in prosperity.
How to begin?
“Prosperity at its root is a belief in a benevolent something–and a belief that that ‘something’ will guide us and guard us, ” Julia writes in the introduction to The Prosperous Heart.
“In my personal history, I have had tight fiscal times and times of greater abundance,” she continues. “I have learned to have a sense of safety based on my conviction that God will provide.
“Looking back, always, when a demand for cash has appeared, the supply of cash has appeared also,” Julia concludes.
Alrighty then. Now I know what I want to be filled with for the next time I spill my insides all over the sidewalk.
Photo courtesy of JEOMYEOL