I continue to feel grateful each time the slightest shift in attitude occurs in my life, each time I turn back from misdirection.
On a recent weekend day, I rolled out of bed with an overall sour, grumpy attitude. Not sure why, although I vaguely recall waking with bizarre dreams about my parents.
Thanks be to God, and a little effort on my part, the mood didn’t hang around long.
Saturday morning self talk
Rather than infect my house with my pissiness, I decided to head to Lowe’s for retail therapy. I know, what you’re thinking. The hardware store?
Here’s the thing. As a responsible self-employed person, my shopping thrills have shifted from Macy’s and Coldwater Creek to Bed Bath and Beyond and Lowe’s. When I’m feeling wild and crazy, I’ll hit Barnes and Noble.
Anyway, the point is that as I pushed my buggy up and down the aisles at Lowe’s, filling it with air conditioner filters and fluorescent light bulbs, I was talking myself down from a dangerous ledge of seething anger.
I was stewing in a cauldron of unkind thoughts and as I walked, I carried on a conversation in my head that went something like this:
“You do know that the only person you’re hurting is you, right?”
“Yeah, well, screw that!” (My devil side is so mature.)
“Seriously, do you really want to do that to yourself? Do you really want to ruin what could be a beautiful Saturday?”
Devil-me had no reply, but as I put the folding hand saw in the buggy (prophetic, don’t you think?), I realized I was finished with the anger. Just like that, it was gone.
Sunday morning self-care
At church, the very next morning, I heard about the power behind I AM statements. I have to tell you that the timing was kind of fishy, like God called our minister and ratted me out.
Rev. Rob spoke about how whenever we say things like, “I AM so angry!” that anger goes out of its way to find us. Same thing with, “I AM dumb” or “I AM fat.” The law of attraction insists that ignorance and Hershey candy bars seek you out when you say those things.
If on the other hand, I say, (since I was the one Rob was speaking to), “I am breathing into this anger because I trust it will pass.” Or maybe I say, “Yep, I’m willing to acknowledge feeling angry because it won’t last forever.”
Those two statements are so much more affirming and a whole lot less damning. What I like is that neither ignores the feeling; in fact, I get to embrace it without clutching it to my chest and squeezing the life out of it.
In a pretty quick turnaround, I watched–with a growing aptitude for detachment–as the whole idea of “what you think about you bring about.”
I have to admit that it feels pretty good to know that I no longer have to spin out, crash and burn because of my feelings. They’re not facts. In the whole messy scheme of things, they’re merely a blip on the radar of an otherwise bee-utiful existence.
Photo courtesy of wallyir