For me, trusting and remaining positive, is like a two-step dance that moves smoothly on days when I practice both of them.
Trust and positivity keep me going when I’m making a transition from one place in life to another or even completely reinventing myself.
Part of the challenge is simply putting myself out there. It takes a lot of work! I’m used to seeing nearly instant results and with the current adventure, much of what I’m doing will be gratification-deferred.
Do you ever want to not do something because you don’t really see the point? Maybe you struggle–like me–with the “what if’s” or the “yeah, buts.”
“What if I’m wasting my time?”
“Yeah, but, I could stay home and work on this project instead of taking time to drive across town for lunch with that guy. It probably won’t amount to anything anyway.”
Yikes! Sounds like a case of meddler and fiddler.
I’m a meddler and a fiddler. I like to push things around, made adjustments and fiddle with details thinking I’m making something better. Do you relate?
Most times the situation is fine just the way it is. The lunch I referred to? Yes, I was gone four hours and had to drive across town and back, but I also picked up some great tips and I may one day urge a little business out of the relationship. I also got a free lunch!
Had I listened to my meddle/fiddle mind, I would have stayed at my desk (isolated?) and kept doing, doing, doing instead of being, being, being.
I’m so focused on making money right now. There, I said it. In my meddle/fiddle mind, four hours away from trying to make money was a waste of time and energy.
While I was driving home from lunch and time with my friend, I realized that I need to focus less on making money (doing) and more on building relationships (being).
Oh, and meddle/fiddle mind tends to move me into negativity because it assumes there is something wrong with what is. How can I know if I don’t go?
Trust the process
Learning to go with the flow will probably be a life-long adventure for me.
I remember a work group planning day several years ago. There were about a hundred people in the room trying to hammer out mission, objectives, goals and strategies for this statewide workgroup. The day was getting long and tempers short.
Near the end of a particularly laborious activity, things were getting pretty heated as folks started talking over each other, stating their two-cent opinions and even bullying the person running the meeting.
The room was noisy and chaotic.
Finally, at the height of the din, a man named Jamie stepped to the microphone and very calmly asked everyone to take a deep breath and trust the process. Then he just stood there and waited.
Gradually, the noise died and we were able to complete our work.
That day–and Jamie’s calm demeanor–regularly comes back to me. I recall how wise his words sounded at the time.
Trust the process–good advice for most situations, which, believe it or not, are not matters of life or death anyway.
I’m the one who makes them so.