Changing Playmates and Playgrounds

Hangin’ out choices.  We all get to make them; we get to determine how and where and when and with whom we choose to spend our time.

I used to hang out with people and in places where I didn’t belong or had no business–unhealthy places–but I thought I was choosing to be there.  Now I know that my addiction made the choice for me.

Then I got sober and found myself still making unhealthy hang-out choices.  I’d go places because I thought I was supposed to or because I thought it would make someone else happy.

Never mind my own desires.  I let others make choices for me. I sacrificed myself a lot back then.  Today I know that I am worth more, that I am worthy of stating, and then following, my own choices.

Today I make good hang-out choices.  I go where I want to go.  I go there because I want to be there.  I go with–or without–the people I want in my life.  For the most part, I go when I want to go (although this one is a bit trickier.).

Can you say the same?  I hope you can because giving your power and choices to another out of  obligation could be habit-forming.  Should’s and would’s can become ought-to’s and could-have’s.

I’ve spent the last few days hangin’ out at Tender Acres in Bartonville, TX, with a sweet 11-year-old boy and his grandmother.  On this Mindful Monday, I feel re-charged and re-focused.

I know for sure that life is good.  Even the barn cat says so!

Where are you hangin’ out today?  Are you there by your choice or because someone else wants you to be there?

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  1. Lisa Colgin says:

    Sometimes I struggle with the temptation of playing with the “in” crowd and hanging out at the “in” places. I end up wasting time getting ready, standing around having insignificant conversations with people I have nothing in common with and spending too much money with nothing to show for it in the end. This reminds me that I am the happiest when I am doing things for others. Maybe I’ll choose that next.

    • Beth Wilson says:

      I used to have that same struggle, Lisa, and sometimes still do. In the not-to-distant past, I started asking myself the question, “Is this something I really want to do for me or am I doing it to look good or because I think someone else wants me to do it?” Tough questions to answer. But the bottom line is that I have to make decisions based on what is best for me. Others might say I’m being selfish. I prefer to believe that when I practice self-care, then I am better able to do things for others AND I am more likely to because I’m in a better place. To thine own self be true!

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