Day 15 Check-in

My rules for living are much simpler now.  This practicing presence business is kind of cool.  One by-product is gratitude that the etiquette and activity of being in a relationship with another person is not only more simple (but not easy!), it is more healthy.  Lessons from sins of the past . . .

I believe the truth I seek will appear when I demonstrate integrity in my life.  The principle of “first, do no harm” is, for me, an impossible mission.  My human ego and its accompanying drive to always come out on top prevents complete compliance with the principle.

Human fallibilities and frailties will be perpetual unwanted guests on my journey.  Like my fellows in recovery, I sometimes engage in pre-sobriety destructive behaviors.  Like the Big Book reads, I have been “a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others.  Hearts are broken.  Sweet relationships are dead.”

A few sentences later, these words are written, “The spiritual life is not a theory.  We have to live it.”

For this reason, my gratitude list today includes the previously mentioned perpetually unwanted guests.  I know they want to hijack my journey but my God is bigger than my ego and her tornadic pals.

Within the last year, I did do harm, massive harm.  While I can’t change the past, I can be willing to let God point me to Presence.

My 30 Days of Presence practice is teaching me forgiveness.  As I grow more comfortable being in the here and now, I find myself treating me better.  Forgiving myself for harms done to others is an initial step toward living in integrity.  Integrity leads to truth.

The spiritual life is definitely not a theory and it begins with peaceful presence.

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2 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey Beth, following your journey and love the process you are going thru. "Living in the Now"! Next time you're home I want to go to Unity with you, then over to my Spiritual place. My daily prayers have changed in the last 30 years. Today I borrow from St. Francis of Assisi only one line. "Lord, make me a channel of thy peace". Say it every morning with my morning meditation. Keep up the good work Kid!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hey Beth – glad you are on a powerful journey. We need to catch up. Been thinking about your Mom – glad she is celebrating a great anniversary and that you got to be there. Any chance you will be at the NCADA National Conference next month?

    Check in —PQ

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