Do You Have a Need to Be Right?

Well, do you?  Be honest, now.

Do you have trouble keeping your mouth shut, especially when you know you’re right?

I’m asking the questions because my own need to be right–and to have you know it–is often a dark cloud over my day.  That need causes me to put an extraordinary amount of energy into proving myself to you.

Unless someone’s house is burning down or they are in danger, there is no need for me to be the Corrector or the Provider of Information.

I assume those roles to pamper my ego.

The Need to Be Right at Work

You may find that you’re especially vulnerable to the need to be right at work.  That’s the case for me.  I get information; I need to share it.

But is it crucial information or necessary to the job?  Maybe it’s plain, old-fashioned gossip disguised as information.  Ugh.

You can usually tell the difference between the two by checking your motives.  And that requires stopping what you’re doing, centering yourself with some deep breaths and then being completely honest with yourself.

All too often, my motive is to make me look good by making you look less than good.

We all want to look good at work because the rewards are much more plentiful.  Plus, it’s human nature to think that the more attention you get, the more you’ll be remembered.

But honestly, do you truly want that kind of attention or do you want the satisfaction of knowing you’re simply doing your job well?

The Need to Be Right at Home

At home, when I’m spiritually off-balance, I tend to alternate between trying to appear wise and trying to seem authoritative.  Most times I’m simply snarky.

A few days ago, my sweetie shared feelings that she woke with.  She barely had time to explain before I made a smart-ass judgment observation.

I hurt her feelings and caused defensiveness.  Then I got pissy and defensive.

Later–much later–when I got honest with myself, I realized that I created that mini-tornado in my house be not keeping my mouth shut, by my need to be right.

Releasing the Need to Be Right

Today, try to T.H.I.N.K. before you speak.

T —  Is it True?

H —  Is it Helpful?

I —  Is it Inspiring?

N —  Is it Necessary?

K —  Is it Kind?

Or if you need something quicker and easier to grab, ask yourself the W.A.I.T. question:  Why Am I Talking?

If you’re right, you’re right and there is no need to prove it!

Here’s to a peace-filled Thursday.

Photo courtesy of mantasmagorical. 

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  1. Bobbi Emel says:

    Beth, I’m glad you posted the THINK acronym. I’ve seen it around lately, but couldn’t remember where and really wanted to try to commit it to memory. I think it will be a great tool when I’m tempted to be snarky with MY sweetie!

  2. Beth says:

    It’s the sweeties that catch the brunt of our snarkiness, isn’t it, Bobbi? But, they also get to witness first-hand the best of us! So grateful that you’re in my corner . . . have a terrific weekend!

  3. Priska says:

    Thank you for this, I will try to THINK before I speak.
    My main problem is being a bad listener, needing to jump in and interrupt before family members complete what they are trying to tell me.
    By not listening properly, I might misunderstand or jump to conclusions.
    When I am overcome by the urge to speak I will THINK.

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