Elimination

I’ve spent a great deal of my life trying to please others, trying to live up to what I thought were others’ expectations of me.  Feelings of guilt and insignificance for falling short seem to always be waiting in the wings.

Steady work in the last 18 months led me to gradually step further and further out of that self-destructive pattern and I’ve decided it’s time now to allow the “real me” out for good and for real.  No time like the present, right?

ELIMINATION

The challenge with stepping outside one’s normal operating pattern is that it upsets the proverbial apple cart.  Those folks in my life who don’t steadily work a growth program don’t get it, and in their judgement and confusion, try to punish me for being true to myself.  Fair or not, it’s a fact.

Here’s the part I don’t much care for:  I have a bad habit of continuing to try to change their minds.  I put myself in situations where I know I’ll be mentally abused and I do it anyway–because I think I’m supposed to.  I think I have to place myself in those situations in order to keep our relationships squared up.  And instead, they’re screwed up.

In reality, I’ve given those folks permission to hold me in bondage.  For whatever reason, they cannot or will not forgive me–and so I have not forgiven myself.

One of my words for 2011 is Intention and this mission of fully stepping into myself is my first official invocation of intention.

What better way to set an intention in motion than through the power of Elimination, the 11th spiritual faculty presented on this 11th Day of Christmas.

I set my intention in motion via the power of Elimination by extricating myself from the chains that bind me to that way of living.  I let go of the attempts to persuade folks to understand me.  I release their negative influence on me along with my erroneous belief that I must concede for the “sake of the relationship.”  Exactly what kind of relationship are we talking about?

My intention embraces the development of a deeper conscious awareness that God is my strength and my source.  There is nothing I have to make up for.  I am a complete spiritual being and if I really believe that, I can forgive myself and put down my cross.

That thought makes me smile because that ‘ole cross keeps gaining weight.

Unity’s system of denials and affirmations are a perfect way to further the power of Elimination.  Today’s writing in “Awakening the Christ Spirit Within,” is a perfect adoption for me and perhaps for you as well.

“I gladly release the false, the selfish and the negative.  I will make every effort to keep my thoughts positive and constructive. I am a child of God, created in love as an expression of goodness. I gratefully accept joy and goodness into my life today.”

Peace, love and blessings to you on this eve of Epiphany.

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3 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Now you're gellin' cuz!!!

  2. LaDonna Coy says:

    Hi Beth, thanks for this post – it is just what I needed today. Your reflections are such a gift. Elimination … hmmm letting go of the those recurrent and limiting beliefs and ideas that hold us back from being who we really are. Catching ourselves doing it – well that one can be tricky unless we are really paying attention (to your point). I like thinking about it through this word – Elimination.

  3. vickie says:

    This post was for me, a "God wink"! Since I got sober, my family, who should be thrilled, has either intentionally or unintentionally tried to sabotage me with their constant deluge of drama, criticism and all around negativity. I don't put up with the way they treat me now (I was always the scapegoat) and they don't like it. I tried to make them understand that their behavior was making me want to drink and drinking LITERALLY means dying for me; but they can't seem to stop themselves…anyway, so glad I found you Beth–you're a great writer!! Thanks!

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