Grace Bay Beach, So Aptly Named
I took a break from most everything and skipped the country, spending six glorious days in the tropical paradise of Turks & Caicos, British West Indies. I passed my 50thbirthday there in fact, bookending the day with walks on Grace Bay Beach, on the island of Providenciales, enjoying a magnificent sunrise and an equally mag sunset.
Relaxed and waiting
The vacation was a complete unplugging from all electronics and I returned calm and revitalized. And now I’m waiting because something is about to happen.
Have you ever felt like you’re on the verge of something big in your life? Like the Power That Charges the Universe is about to unleash a monumental event in the backyard where your soul calls home?
As I stand on the precipice of my third decade in sobriety, I’d like to think I’m open to change, that I’ve mastered the “Okay, God, whatever” prayer of surrender. But I have to tell you that I am a little fearful that the unleashed backyard dog might be a Doberman when I’m praying for a Chihuahua.
Since the SBE (Something Big Event) is about me, would it be too much to ask for a say in the matter?
After all, in a short 21 months, I’ve experienced nearly every major stressor in the books. There was a time a few months back when strangled with tension and stress, my therapist gave me a written stress test. She said people who are highly stressed score in the three hundreds. I topped out at nearly 700.
Time to do something different
I made some adjustments, some changes, altered some outlooks and perceptions and went to a ton of meetings. I’m happy to report that I’m a much calmer person than I was when I took that test. Of course, I realize that six days of nirvana could be a blissful contributor.
I am in a better place except for this niggling thought of the SBE. Could be good stuff, probably is good stuff, but I still question God’s motives sometimes.
No, third-decade sobriety doesn’t render one white with mystical life answers.
However, I am making sure that while I patiently wait on God’s decision (wink, wink), I keep that connection as open as I can. The current is only as strong as the soundness of the wiring. And while I practice patience, which everyone knows I am so very good at, which is why I keep practicing, I can recapture the sensations of the islands by enjoying my vacation photos.
I have memories to share—and I will—but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the photos too. And let me know if you’ve experienced similar feelings like the ones I described here. I would love for you to share your experience, strength and hope about waiting on God’s timing and what you do.