Simple Recovery Advice: Master Self-Acceptance Now


I was well into my second decade of recovery before I really understood that a successful life is one where you accept pleasure and pain with equal measure.

Come on, who wants to willingly accept pain?

After all, repetitive advertising has us brainwashed into believing that a pill can help nearly every kind of physical, mental and emotional pain.

Medication is useful and helpful; please don’t think I’m anti-medicine. But medicine must partner with self-responsibility and ultimately, self-acceptance.

Letting go of blame and shame

People in recovery, especially women new to recovery, carry large bags of shame around with them. For some reason, I think women are hard-wired to cling to the messes in their past as they valiantly try to fix them. One of my guy friends told me it took him about 15 minutes to let go of his past!

But we gals seem to want to go to any lengths to right our wrongs! We put so much energy into should have, could have  and what if that we disregard the joy in our present circumstances.

Some of us spend countless hours obsessing over unintended words or even the tone of a conversation. There is just no point!

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” ~ Brene Brown

Please, God, let this good feeling last forever . . .

Conversely, when the good times roll around, don’t you just gush with excitement? It’s sooooo goooood. He’s so fabulous. She is the ult! OMG, you just wouldn’t believe how cool it was.

Damn, if we could only feel this way forever then life would be complete. I’ve been known to pray that a day never ends.

There are times when my unbalanced self wants to fiercely grasp the good times to my chest and push all that causes hurt as far away as possible. Just make it go away.

Letting myself sit with all those feelings, while shedding tears of grief or happiness, is where I’ll find my self-respect and self-compassion.

“As I accept my experiences with an open heart, I discover God in all of then, which brings me wisdom and peace of mind.” ~ The Daily Word

Now moments are so precious

When you accept yourself–all your past experiences–with love and compassion, you’ll find yourself much more present to this moment.

I learned a valuable lesson over the weekend. My sweetie and I missed a magical opportunity because we settled for a practical, even responsible, option instead of acting on an impulse. Later, we talked about how we both felt sad over our lost Now Moment.

But we accepted it and moved on. When a similar situation comes our way again, you can bet we’ll jump all over it! We will live the heck out of our future Now Moments . . . and then release them.

For right now, we accept that all is right . . . now.

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  1. It’s good to see someone helping women who are struggling with this kind of mindset. Shame is never easy to deal with and could lead a person to low self esteem issues. The first step is just accepting the feelings that you’re dealing with and from there, accessing how you could move on. I could go on, lol, but I’d rather keep it short by saying great post!

  2. lynne says:

    It is so nice to read something like this. Someone who can share her insights to help and motivate others. Acceptance is the key word in overcoming our struggles in life. Thanks for sharing. Great post.

  3. Sherill says:

    Acceptance opens new possibilities and allows us to move forward. Very inspiring post. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Thank you for this wonderful encouragement not just for the people who needs recovery but to all people reading and visiting your page. Rehabilitation Care Center really helps people needing of a treatment and recovery must be available and never be restricted to anyone.

    I remember one friend told me people always say “I love you” but I must also say “I love me” to myself. You have to love myself as you are and accept it because everyone is unique to each other.

    Now, I’m still in the process of giving grace to myself (well, I’m perfectionist) and continue attempting to choose the right decisions in my life. Good thing, God doesn’t leave us no matter how big our failures in life were.

    • Beth says:

      Thanks for writing, Jimmy. I wish you the best of luck, grace, and right decisions as you continue on your journey!

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